Going (offline) dating apps

Dating Relationships Online Dating

It lasted a month!

There was a previous post on my initial thoughts of each app here. Be warned this is very opinionated and biased.

I'd installed four dating apps, Tinder, Bumble, Hinge and Happn, mostly out of curiosity, boredom and the thought of being single forever was (is) haunting.

I'm already 30, that's about half-way through the one small life I have, why wouldn't I want to spend that time with someone else? But no seriously, I'm happy doing what I'm doing but I'd like to share my experiences with someone else.... something, something, anxious attachment style.

Anyway, I'd sunk a lot of time into each app, refining my profile and finding the best photos out of the little I have, now it might sound obvious but these apps are all about the photos, I'm not speaking for everyone, but there's so many people to "swipe" through, there's no point in reading bio's, you do basically judge a person on the first couple of photos in a few seconds... swipe.

I did give most a chance, I mean, I read the bios of the ones I was mildly attracted too (the 4-7s), I didn't want to discriminate on somebodies crappy photos (I'd be contradicting myself, would I), but since "men swipe right on anything/everything", I was just adding to the problem, even the less "attractive" women would likely have 100s of likes sitting in their inbox.

So, for every one match I had, the other woman probably had ten, yeah, I'm pulling this figure out of nowhere but it's likely to be worse!

Now we have the next problem, and likely the biggest, assuming most of the guys swipe right on everyone, lets say this woman is a 6-7, she's got all of those likes in her queue (or bees in her beeline), who ever she likes is likely to be a match right, so when this 6-7 is matching with 8-9 and 10s, she's now thinking she's in a different league than what she is, so the 5-7s don't get anything, the ladies are all matching with the 8-10s and I would like to know how many actually get ghosted!?

So, from that rant, I've learnt I'm probably somewhere in the 5-7 region, if it's lower, I don't think I want to know.

Wait I'm not finished... let's talk about make-up, yeah, those man-made chemicals women layer on their faces, to essentially change their complete appearance, also known as "contouring". Now this only adds to the problem, but that woman that was a 6-7 earlier, without makeup is likely to be lower, I don't even need to talk about the problem because you already know.

I do have, a lot of respect for women that don't wear any, or a minimal amount of, make-up.

Contouring. It is a makeup technique that uses cosmetics to define, enhance and sculpt the structure of the face or other body parts, such as breasts.

Why did I delete the apps?

To put it bluntly, I'm not an 8+ and they are a massive time sink, reading someone's profile when there's (what seems like) a <1% chance you're going to match is, just well, pointless.

Although I'm not trying to think about it, my self-esteem has been significantly lowered, I mean, one month and not one date? :'(

What app did I have the most "success" on

Tinder, gave the most matches/likes, although the quality was the poorest (covered in my first post).

Bumble, had far more quality profiles on there, although I'd matched with a few "good ones", I was basically "ghosted" for all of them.

Hinge, didn't match with anyone, had a few likes but there's not much going on, with this app, the user base is too small.

Irreversible effects on a generation

In no particular order;

  • An ego boost for those that are attractive and a lower self-esteem for those that aren't.
  • Online dating has become the norm, however, there's plenty of different social groups around to meet people through, (note to self) get out there!
  • The idea of filtered photos and make up are deceitful, this should not be the norm!
  • Serious effects on peoples mental health and well-being i.e. self-esteem and depression.
  • Exposure to "rejection" on a daily basis.
  • Guys give a lot of attention, seriously, don't right swipe so much, you're ruining it for everyone.

Would I go back?

If I had better quality photos, I think I would, purely because the experience would be completely different, however I knew before downloading any apps, that it wasn't going to work, I'm too old-fashioned, I'd just like to meet "the one" in a pub, through friends or work.

Although this post is mostly negative, there are "some" benefits to online dating apps;

  • you are exposed to people you would otherwise never meet
  • you can filter down people on hobbies/interests etc and find like-mind people
  • one night stands?

My Tinder Profile